As many of you may have heard, American Gladiators is returning to television this January. It could possibly be the smartest move NBC has made since canceling “Joey.” American Gladiators was an important piece of early 90’s pop culture. It showed off to the world the most metro sexual men (with the trendiest short hair cuts) and scantily clad women competing against each other in ridiculous physical contests. And the competition was real, and fierce, unlike those fake wrestling shows.

Granted the show was extremely corny, (hell, the contestants had ridiculous nicknames like “Nitro” and “Jazz”), but it had a kitschy charm to it. I think we all miss the variety of events the gladiators faced off in.

Remember the pyramid round? It was when one team of two men started at the top of a plush, nearly 30 foot high pyramid, and another team of two would try to fight their way to the top. It was insane. Guys falling from 20 feet down to the floor, and then climbing back up with a guy clamping their ankle like a ball and chain.

The most popular event was Joust. It was when two contestants stood on circular bases about 6 feet off the ground, and they pummeled each other with sticks that had pillows on each end. Whoever lost their balance and fell first would be declared the loser.

I think all prime time television viewers miss that kind of ridiculousness.

Over the past few years, Americans have decided that they would rather watch game shows and reality television then be bored with stupid sitcoms. This “competitive game meets reality show” is the next logical step.

And America is going through some troubled times with the increasingly hostile political climate. I think the citizens of this country need some mindless, good old fashioned American Gladiators. Thank you NBC.

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